Motherhood

I had an interesting conversation the other day that I seem to keep thinking about.  With Mother's Day approaching it came back on my mind a bit. So I was checking out at Walmart, just making casual conversation with the cashier. She thought my son was cute, and asked if I worked or stayed home with him. She went on to tell me how she had been home with her kids after they were born, but almost went insane with boredom, so she got a job. She just doesn't "know how women can do it, staying home all day". It was interesting that she chose to say these things to me, since I am one of those women, but we won't talk about tact right now.
To tell you the truth, there is some substance to what she says. Being a stay-at-home mom in the early years is not for the faint of heart. And yet those who don't do it really have no idea why. It may seem like we get to just sit around and play with kids all day--like a permanent vacation, or extremely boring. But it's so far from that. As an ambitious over-achiever in my pre-Mom life, I often worked toward deadlines and benchmarks, receiving plenty of praises on hard work and jobs well done. Now, I admit that I wonder at the beginning of each day how I am going to fill the hours. These are hours with my little boy that I wouldn't trade for anything, but there are a lot of them.  And nobody is giving me a to-do list. But I have to fill those hours with something productive. That is the challenge. It's not just a day off. It's a day to teach my child to use his time learning. Which means I not only have to keep our house running--cleaning, shopping, organization, making phone calls, paying bills, mowing lawns, planting flowers, etc. But I also need to find activities on his level that teach obedience, numbers, letters, sharing with others, politeness, love, fun, and all of the other millions of things that you want your child to know when they leave for kindergarten. And I somehow need to accomplish the first list while not boring my son, and the second list while not letting myself go insane either. No, I may not be training hundreds of employees, but I am teaching and training a little mind that often doesn't understand the need for learning what I am telling him. I am teaching someone who has a mind of his own, but no reason to listen to me other than that I am bigger than he is. It's a crazy different dynamic that has challenged me in ways I don't think I would ever be challenged otherwise.
So yes I do sit and wonder when my husband will finally get home, and the minutes between 5pm and 7pm just don't tick fast enough. But at the same time I am overwhelmed with how much I have to do and how little I seem to be able to get done when my time is dependent on a toddler.  Kids don't really want mommy to spend her time on the computer or phone. And I understand. So I try to spend some good fun time instead of attacking my ever-growing list of adult things that I need to do.  I've read somewhere that the career most similar to motherhood (and probably even more so the older my kids get) is that of air traffic controller--there are so many things that are going on and need to be prioritized at once. And each task is extremely crucial! The burnout rate on that career is one of the highest overall--people can't handle the stress. But you cant burn out of being a mom. You just have to be creative to find another way to look at the situation and rejuvenate yourself.  The great thing about motherhood is that along with that stress and craziness, and boredom, and exhaustion, comes joy. It comes with moments where your toddler runs up to give you a hug, or spontaneously says "I love you." And those moments are what gets you through to the point of parenthood where your kids on not quite so dependent.
The more I learn about being a mom, the more I am thankful for my own mother. She was so close to the Spirit. Only now do I realize how crucial that is. But all those teaching moments I remember with my mom could have easily been missed by someone of less spiritual attentiveness. Most are running ragged and just trying to get by--I know I am. Too often we are too busy to notice the moments that could really shape our child's future. I just hope that things stick in on the few times I do take a stand on things, or try and stop to help my child apply principles in his life.  My Mom used to have something up in our house that said "Motherhood is not for wimps." Aint that the truth! But I'm lucky to have had such an awesome example for a mother. Someone whose greatness I might just be beginning to understand.